Sunday, March 8, 2009

Tough Love and Updates

Hello Family, Friends and Fellow Bloggers and Readers,

I know you probably thought we had fallen off the face of the earth but WE ARE STILL HERE!!!!!! Anyway, I wanted to take a few minutes and give you a bit of an update.
First, if anyone ever talks about "Tough Love" and are very matter of fact or very casual about it, be careful. I used to be that way. I would say that is the best way to deal with certain situations and that was the only way to deal with them. Well, let's just say, the next time that the topic is brought up, I will be VERY careful in what I say. I am guilty of saying things and not really thinking about what it would be like to REALLY go through with the action. We, as a family, had to dish out some tough love. Tough love in our case was making the decision to leave her in jail. Leave her there for over 5 weeks. Leave her in an adult jail with 20 other women in her "block". That is tough love and I am here to tell you it is probably the most difficult decision that I have ever made in my entire life. Her Dad and I went and paid her a visit last week. That was a sobering event but it went much better than I ever dreamed that it would. She is doing well. She is in a very structured environment and that seems to be where she does the best. We explained what and why and she was understanding, and even carried on a very appropriate conversation. There were no tears, crying, drama, begging, pleading, but there was the statement, "I have learned my lesson, and I am not running any more" I want with every fiber of my being to believe that with my whole heart. I'm protective at times of my heart but I want to believe her. We meet tomorrow night for a decision and look at some new placements for her when she is released. That could be on March 31st or it may be an additional 30, 60 or even 90 days but we have to plan and be ready. As most of you know, the Mental Health system is very broke and that is what we are up against. I would ask that you please pray for us tomorrow night. This could be a very tense meeting. I have realized in the last couple of weeks, once again, something I keep having to be taught over and over, HE IS IN CONTROL!!!!! I am not, her Dad is not, her Step Dad is not and neither is her Step Mom. It is ultimately Him. That is where it is. Please hear me when I say that I am very concerned. I will do what is required of me and I will do what is in the best interest of everyone but my worry gets me no where. Worry is a sin and I try not to fall into it. I have just decided that we do what we can and what He leads us to do and the rest is up to Him. Shew what a relief that is!!!!!

Second- Updates on all my Mom's-------
As far as I know, all is well. I have 2 Mom's to go and visit with next weekend. I can't wait. I haven't seen them since the hospital. We have had the stomach bug in the home, dealing with Tonya and then I ended up with a chest cold this weekend that started with the aches early in the week that just got worse. I will talk with them and see if they would allow me to share some pictures. I will also take some when I visit if it is OK with them.

Induction on Tuesday. She is so excited and very nervous. I will be taking 1/2 a day on Tuesday to be with her. Here again, I will keep you posted and let you know how things go.

Prayer for 2 of my clients. I have 2 precious ladies that I have grown to admire more than they will probably EVER know. They have completely stolen my heart. They are both placing their babies up for adoption. I won't be posting their names or the babies pictures that I know of unless they tell me I can and even then I probably won't share their names. One I have known since she was VERY early pregnant and we have become close. Her Mom is precious and such a strong woman and very encouraging. The other I just met a few weeks ago and I have been amazed getting to know her and her family. Both are as different as night and day but what they have chosen to do is soooooo humbling to me. I'm just in awe!!!!! They inspire me, they encourage me, they are the reason that I do what I do.

Thursday night was the last night of this round of Teens Learning Childbirth at the YWCA. We had to do this activity and talk about one thing that we will take away from this past class. The one thing and the only thing that would come out of my mouth is "I have realized I am even more passionate about pregnant Teens and pregnant women" I feel like there are days that is the only thing I want to talk about. It's exciting and just amazing to see these young women rise to the occasion. At the same time, I get the privilege of being with Adult Mom's to. It's amazing to see how the 2 are so much the same and yet at the same time, so VERY different. I absolutely love it!!!!

Lastly, I have taken my Perinatal Fitness Instructor Training and have taken the Certification test. That is a mouth full and what in the world does it mean. I can teach fitness to women wanting to get pregnant, are pregnant or postpartum. Isn't that COOL!!!!!!!! I have ordered my Childbirth Educator program and that should arrive this week. I will be mailing in my Doula Certification this week as well. On top of all of that the Y W may want me to teach some fitness classes. IS GOD GOOD OR WHAT????????
Well, I really need to get in the bed after losing an hour last night and a delivery on Tuesday, rest is important. I promise I won't wait so long to update. Thank you for reading and PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE COMMENTS!!!!!!!

Love you,
Doula Mama

1 comment:

Marsha Judy said...

My sweet friend, I know it's been hard for you, Bo, Jim and Lynne to make decisions for Tonya. None of us know what it's been like. I am praying for all of you - and especially for Tonya. You know how I love her! She has a very special place in my heart!
I'm proud of you and the work you're doing. I miss you terribly.