Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Catch-Up TIme

Well, I have tried to do this post for a week and couldn't seem to sit still long enough to do it.  Little Man is watching his allotted time on Nick Jr. and so I escaped for just a few.  We will see how fast these fingers can move. 
Hang on to your hats!!!!!!

1- Apology to all of the Stay at Home Mom's that I know and even the one's I don't know.  Why you ask?  Working since I was in High School, my dream was always to be a SAHM.  Of course I had it all wrong.  I had envisioned one thing and it has totally opened my eyes and all I can say is WOW!!!!!  Since being home and being layed-off, I have come to appreciate you more than ever.  Being a SAHM is wonderful, don't get me wrong but at the same time, it is a lot of work as well.  There is a 22+ year old that is looking for a job, going to school and trying to fill his portfolio with the most awesome pictures and trying to keep track of him is a job in  it's self.  Then there is the Hubby who goes to work every day because he LOVES his job (REALLY!!!) and never complains.  Then there is the cute little 4 year old that is learning independence every day is in constant need of something.  Of course there is laundry, food to prepare for dinner.  Now that we are at home, it's breakfast, lunch AND DINNER!!!!  Not to mention running errands and trying to stay on top of the house and have "teaching time" with said 4 year old.  OH MY!!!!!  How in the world did I get all of this done AND work......bottom line...I didn't!!!!!!  Hats off to the SAHM!!!!  I have a whole new appreciation for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2-I had been praying and wondering what to do about Bible study for the summer because I needed the discipline.  Well, I have been asked to teach Disciplers, which is like BSF, at church on Wednesday nights.  SOOOO VERY EXCITED!!!!!!! 

3- Going to the community college tomorrow to talk about my options for school.  In a dream world I would love to get started this summer with basics on line and jump in in the fall.  Not sure that is going to work but it won't be for a lack of trying.  Options are somewhat limited but He knows what I am suppose to do and He will show me.  I have no doubt!!!!!!

4-I am back at running, going to the gym, sweating like a mad woman and LOVE IT!!!!!  It never fails that when anxiety starts, He takes me running or to the gym.  I have discovered an App. on my phone with the help of the 22+ year old and I can listen to the top 20 Christian Songs on the phone while I am pouring the sweat.  There is something about going out for a run and when you finish, all that sweat comes pouring out and it's like all of the stress, anxiety, overwhelmed feelings are just running.  I am sorry if that is sounding a bit gross but if you are a work-out person, you know what I am talking about. I JUST LOVE IT!!!!!

Well, Nick Jr is almost over for the morning so we are going to get moving.  It's so hot here, I don't think we will be doing a lot outside today but it will be a good day.  He has given me a new day.  I will rejoice in it!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Yeap....Still here

I am still here.  It has been a very strange few weeks.  I believe that I have experienced every emotion imaginable........ 
At a Loss
Why Me?
Why Now?
and the list could go on and on and on.  It is a time of learning and research and getting things done that I never had the time to do when I was working all the time. 
Such as
Cleaning out the storage area on the balcony-that was totally embarrassing of the "Trash" that I found.
Starting the cleaning of the storage unit that we have been paying for with things in that we DO NOT NEED.
Cleaning out closets
Packing things away
Selling things
Planning for dinners
That is the part that I have enjoyed.
The other part is....
Teaching Kaleb.
We have a letter of the week and we do all kinds of things with the letter.
Spending time with him that I feel like I have missed.
Spending time with Kyle (when he is actually at home...hahahaha)
Having a clean home and clean clothes and clean rooms when the Hubby gets home.  (Although he will tell you that he doesn't really care about those things.  It's important to me.)
Having lunch with friends that usually had to work around a strange work schedule.
It's all working together.  It's hard some days but most are pretty good.  Of course going to the gym or the park for some exercise is a GREAT way to keep your head clear. 
I'm trusting in the ONE who has it all under CONTROL because heaven knows, I sure would mess it up!!!!!
I have lots in my head to share......Nap time is a good time to write.....let's see how that works out!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

Monday, May 16, 2011

Doula Testimony!!!!!!!

My name is Brittney and have known Pam since I was a small child. We know each other through the church I grew up in. My mom and Pam ran into each other about the time Ben(my husband) and I were beginning to tell people that we were expecting a little one. Pam told my mom that she was a doula and gave my mom several pamphlets and said for us to give her a call if we wanted any more information. I had Pam send us more information on what a Doula was and what all they did because we had never even heard about a Doula before all this.
Ben and I talked about it and he just wasn't real sure on the whole thing. I know I was more sold than my husband. He just kept saying he just didn't see the point or the real benefits in a Doula. My mom decided she was going to hire Pam for us as our major baby gift. So began our journey with a Doula at our side and our daughter, Parker, on the way. Let's just say having Pam by our side through our daughters birth was one of the most comforting things about our labor. Pam was there to guide the whole way. Pam helped keep us on track with our birth plan and a little while later we had our beautiful little girl Parker Leigh Scott.
So as life normally goes for us we found out we were expecting again 3 months after Parker was born. I immediately called Pam. This time I knew we were using Pam and I knew why. She helped me make a birth plan and stick to it. I was induced with both my labors, I was never alone. When Ben wasn't sure how to make things better or more comfortable for me, Pam knew just what to try. I had both Parker and Jack naturally. She had so many ideas and concepts I had no idea about. I feel that having Pam or a Doula there during labor made a huge difference. I am not sure I could have had our first one let alone our second child naturally without Pam. Ben being the big skeptic during our first delivery walked away saying we would never do it again without Pam. Our thoughts on having a Doula went through many changes but when asked by our friends "What's the one thing you guys would have during birth?" we always answer them with "Our doula Pam!"

Thank you so much to Brittney and Ben for this!!!!!! 
It's National Doula Month!!!! 
Do you know a Doula?
Do you want to share your experience? 
Just let me know and let's get the word out!!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

Friday, May 13, 2011

Sharing Night at BSF

Well, yesterday it was humid and misty and overcast and the perfect day to do some blogging. So, I wrote a letter of thanks to Kaleb's daycare, made some earrings and bracelets for his teachers and of course ordered cupcakes for them for tomorrow. Today will be his last day at his daycare center. I'm sad but I am happy at the same time to be able to spend more time with the Little Man. I have so much planned in my head I can't stand it. I want him to have fun but at the same time, keep some structure. We are not watching TV everyday all day long for sure.
The other day in a post, I wrote about the last night of BSF.  I had done BSF in the past but for whatever reason, I didn't get to do sharing night. So, I had time that day to really read over the "Reflections" questions.  Not sure that is what they are really called.  Anyway, I went to fellowship that we were having prior to the actual "sharing time" in the sactuary where all of the discussion groups were.  We shared in our group.  We chatted and talked and I was about to bust at the seam and I guess that it could be seen all over my face.  My sweet Discussion Leader asked me to share about this year in the study of Isaiah.  Well, let's just say that I could have talked for an hour about this year.  I had such a sweet time with the Lord that morning that I just wanted to shout.  As you read over the next portion, keep in mind all that has happened in the past few weeks as far as losing my job from lay-off.  I pray that as you read, you can see Him. Don't see me. See Him and how He had shown and prepared me since last September. 
Review of Week 10- The situations when you are so overwhlemed and the circumstances are to much, that's exactly where He wants to work.  I was blown away when I caught that reading through my notes.  That is where I am.
Week of Chapter 11 and 12- Hope=expect with confidence.  This what I pray with. Praying with expectant confidence that He will answer.  May not be what I want to hear but He is ultimately in control.
Unsure of what week- Worship= undivided attention- If we are worshipping anything other than God, it is nothing and misguided.  What was I worshipping?  Where was my worship? Had it turned into complaining, self confidence, arrogance.  None of that is worship worthy of Him!!!!
This was the key for me- Total acceptance- He is the Lord.  He steps into your life and interups so you can experiece and know Him. 
Lesson 18- Choosing Cyrus- the unequipped, least qualified, least experience.  He can equip and qualify you.
As I read through the lessons, the notes, the side notes on my questions I was just blown away.  He was showing me His promises and preparing me for what was coming.  In the midst of the chaos that I was experiencing prior to being laid off, He was making a way for me.  In Isaiah is speaking of preparing the way and when we go back and reasearch it, they actually went down those dirt roads and filled potholes, making the road flat in preparation.  I'm amazed that as I think back to what I was thinking about school, the desire for more, desire for promotion, the desire for more education.  Knowing full well that it was not possible with all that was going on at that time.  Between work, teaching classes, being a Doula, a Mom, a Mommy and a wife, there was no time for school. 
So now the big question is.....Was this His way of clearing my road? Preparing a way for me to go back to school?  Some days, I am ready to sign up and then there are days I think, not yet and I say that out of fear. Where in the world is this road going?  I'm not willing to go running down it but it is a road He has prepared.
All of that being said, when we got into the large sanctuary with 500+ women, I sat there and it was basically a free microphone to share.  The longer I sat there the faster the heart went.  A phrase I had heard before by a dear sweet friend/mentor was...Delayed obedience IS disobedience.  OK!!!! I'm going.  I stood that night. 
I gave Him all the glory for the study.
I gave Him all the glory for working in my life.
I gave Him all the glory for preparing my road.
I gave Him all the glory for being laid-off.
I will continue to give Him glory for showing me what He wants of me. 
I am so excited I could bust a gut!!!!!
I can't wait to see what's coming!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

Thursday, May 12, 2011


Today is also Fibromyalgia Awareness Day.  Are you wearing purple today?  Most don't even know that the day exsist but it is very real and very difficult for those who have been diagnosed with this disease.  I know that I have had the flu when everything in your body hurts and you stay in the bed for a day or so and take over-the-counter medicine and then you are all better.  I've also had injuries when your hip hurts so bad you can't walk or your knees.  All of that being said, I can't imagine hurting, literally, everyday, all day.  I can't imagine the impact that has on your family. The treatments are so vast from doing nothing to taking 20 pills in one day to just get through the day.  Every nerve ending is in overdrive.  It makes me hurt to think about it just writing this.
I know 2 people that have this disease.  I may even know more and don't know it.  Both are women that are strong and powerful.
They are bold and not willing to give up.
They are not willing to let Fibro win. 
That is NOT an option. 
I have watched as family and friends don't understand.
I have watched as myself forget that they are struggling.
I have watched as they try to cover how they feel. 
My heart breaks for them and for those closest to them.  They are educated and empowered about their disease and they are always working, spreading the word and making people aware.  I'm amazed at their strength and their courageIt is powerful!!!!!  I never use the words "I know how you feel" because that would be a total lie. 
I don't know.
I don't understand. 
All I know to do is to pray. 
Pray for strength, wisdom, healing, encouragement, power and peace.  That is all I know to do and to listen when they need an ear. 
For Tami and Lynn, please know that you are being prayed for and if there is anything I can do, just ask!!!!!!  If you know someone with Fibro., encourage them, love them and hug them gently!!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Well......now what?

It has been very busy around here.  Yesterday I cleaned.  I mean REALLY cleaned. 
Toys put away
It was awesome. 
Had an awesome quiet time with the Lord reflecting over Isaiah.  LOVED IT!!!!!  It was the last night of BSF and I was so excited to hear and listen.  I will share what happened in another post.
I got up and got ready and decided that I would go for a short run.  My body was screaming at me......"NO, don't do it!!!!" but my head needed it and off we went. 
IT WAS AWESOME!!!!  Yes, I felt like I was going to just fall over at times but I was determined that I was going to do it!!!!!  Sweat and sunshine and there is no better combination. 
Today has continued  with the cleaning.  I have managed to clean out a cabinet, clean Kaleb's room of broken toys and just junk in general and even cleaned out our closet.  Choosing to put winter clothes away and only have the summer/spring in the closet.  It felt GREAT until I ran across THE SWIMSUIT!!!! OH NO!!!!!  Well, mine is all faded and yucky looking so out it went.  Time for a new one!!!!  Not looking forward to it but I have a goal in mind and it is actually reasonable.

Now what?  After being laid off I think everyone has so much to consider. 
What is next? 
What do I want to do?
More important is "What does the Lord want me to do?" 
These are all the questions that are always going through my head.  So I have spent the last 2 hours reading GTCC's website.  Everything from Wedding Planning, Latin Dance(not a chance), to Early Childhood Education, to Nursing and Certified Medical Assisting.  I am in brain over load. 
What am I suppose to do? 
What do I enjoy? 
Where is my heart? 
What do I want to be when I grow up? 
I HAVE NO CLUE AT THIS POINT!!!!!  Can really make one feel VERY OVERWHELMED!!!!  That is exactly where I am. OVERWHELMED!!!!!  It can all be very overwhelming and yet I do have a sense of peace about it.  I know that probably makes absolutely NO sense but I do.  Yes, I still have my moments of "what just happened" but for the most part, doing well and it's all about HIM!!!!!!!  I'm taking the time to get somethings done that I have NEVER had time to and just preparing for whatever He has planned.  I can't wait to see!!!!!!!!
Thanks for stopping by!!

Doula Mama Pam

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!!

This year, I got to nominate my Mom for "Mother of the Year" in White County where she and my Dad live.  Thought I would share what I wrote to the newspaper.

Dear White County News,

My name is Pam Kennedy of Greensboro NC. My brother is Jeff Hendrix of Thomasville NC. We would like to nominate our Mother, Shelby Hendrix of Cleveland Ga. as Mother of the Year. Why? Well, there is a 300 word limit so I can only be brief. That is very difficult to do with such a Mother as she. Mom has been there for both of us through thick and thin. She is the most Godly woman that you will ever meet. Her foundation in Christ, we believe, is what has kept all of us going. Jeff and I have not always been the perfect children, believe it of not. We have had our ups and downs. We have survived through divorce, remarriage, surprise grandchildren and even the loss of 2 grandchildren. We always know that we can call Mom when there is a crisis that is happening and know without a shadow of a doubt that she is on her knees interceding for us. We also know that we can call her and let her know when we have found a deal on clothes at Macy's or we have bought our first chicken or duck and she is just as excited. She loves to cook and is always trying new recipes. We have some "Hendrix" favorites that we all love. She took the time a couple of years ago and pulled together the recipes that we have grown up with from her Mother and our Father's Mother and compiled them in a cookbook for us. What a treasure! She loves to serve people and has a heart for missions as big as Lottie Moon and Annie Armstrong put together. She will travel to the Ukraine at the drop of a hat. Her passport is ready and her bag, I think, stays packed and ready to go. I don't know what our family would do without her. She and Dad have raised the both of us to stand on our own and yet know that if we were to ever need anything, they would both be there for us. We believe without a shadow of a doubt that Shelby Hendrix IS Mother of the Year.

** thank you for allowing us to nominate our Mom!!!!! SHE IS MOTHER OF THE YEAR FOR US!!!!!!!****
Happy Mothers Day!!!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

First Week.......

Well, this is the first week of being out of work.  Let me rephrase that.....being with out an 8:30am-5pm employment.  To say that it has been a difficult but learning 5 days would be an understatement.  Monday when everyone was getting ready for school and work, I stood over the laundry basket and just lost it because I felt so disjointed.
I didn't have anywhere to go.
I didn't have anyone at home to talk to.
First time in 21 years that I didn't have a "job"
What in the world was I going to do all day.
It was the longest day of my life!!!!!  I went to the Unemployment Office.  That was a treat alone.  I went expecting long lines, depressed people, grumpy people and no where to park.  Let's just say that the Lord went a head of me. 
I had a front parking place.
I walked in to hear a couple of people laughing.
There was NO line.
I walked up and the nicest man helped.
I was told since I knew how to use a computer I could file my claim from home. 
I walked out and realized that He was right there with me.
I have the blessing of attending BSF Monday night. It had been all in all a good day.  I went in, went to our room where we meet for discussion group.  My sweet leader walked in and I just lost it.  I felt so empty for some reason and all of those emotions just came flooding out.  We discussed the lesson and then when it was over, we talked and I explained what had happened.  She was so comforting and so sweet.  Of course I went into "Lecture" and went with an expecting attitude.  I was expecting Him to use JoAnn and speak to me.  Well, let's just say, once again He was right there.  Experiencing Him was amazing. There was an empty seat between myself and the lady next to me.  He was in it.  I have never written so many notes.  If I can make heads or tails of them, I will share them. 
Tuesday was a GREAT DAY!!!!  I WENT BACK TO THE GYM!!!!!  I fought it all morning.  I made excuses in my head.  I even tried to make a new Biggest Loser Video work but the remote doesn't operate the DVD.  I finally gave in and went to the gym.  OH MY GOODNESS- the stress, the sweat- it was perfect!!!!!!!  Rowing Machine, Jacobs Ladder and then 2 mile run on the treadmill.  I was back in my "ZONE".  PERFECT!!!!!  One glitch to Tuesday- Refrigerator has died.  The freezer has everything still frozen but the refrigerator part is nice and warm.  Talk about a smell......shew!!!!!!  Well, we went and were able to buy one and got a great discount because of Bo's work.  Once again, God will supply all of our needs!!!!!!!
Wednesday so far is fabulous.  I was back at the gym this morning.  4 miles on the Elliptical/Stair Climber machine (I'm not sure exactly what the right name for it).  I LOVED IT!!!!!!  Then my sweet son, Kyle, took me to lunch for Mother's Day.  He's going to be in Ga. this weekend.  We had Mexican food and it was SOOOOOOO good!!!!!!!!  Off to get a haircut and do some cleaning getting ready for tomorrow's childbirth class here at the house.!!!!! 
Yes, I lost my job.
Yes, I have my moments.
Yes, I miss my friends at work.
We, as a family, are depending more on Him.
We are seeing Him work.
We are watching and listening to where He wants us.
It's exciting and overwhelming at the same time but God is Good All The Time!!!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam