Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Well......now what?

It has been very busy around here.  Yesterday I cleaned.  I mean REALLY cleaned. 
Laundry
Mopped
Toys put away
Dusted
It was awesome. 
Had an awesome quiet time with the Lord reflecting over Isaiah.  LOVED IT!!!!!  It was the last night of BSF and I was so excited to hear and listen.  I will share what happened in another post.
I got up and got ready and decided that I would go for a short run.  My body was screaming at me......"NO, don't do it!!!!" but my head needed it and off we went. 
IT WAS AWESOME!!!!  Yes, I felt like I was going to just fall over at times but I was determined that I was going to do it!!!!!  Sweat and sunshine and there is no better combination. 
Today has continued  with the cleaning.  I have managed to clean out a cabinet, clean Kaleb's room of broken toys and just junk in general and even cleaned out our closet.  Choosing to put winter clothes away and only have the summer/spring in the closet.  It felt GREAT until I ran across THE SWIMSUIT!!!! OH NO!!!!!  Well, mine is all faded and yucky looking so out it went.  Time for a new one!!!!  Not looking forward to it but I have a goal in mind and it is actually reasonable.

Now what?  After being laid off I think everyone has so much to consider. 
What is next? 
What do I want to do?
More important is "What does the Lord want me to do?" 
These are all the questions that are always going through my head.  So I have spent the last 2 hours reading GTCC's website.  Everything from Wedding Planning, Latin Dance(not a chance), to Early Childhood Education, to Nursing and Certified Medical Assisting.  I am in brain over load. 
What am I suppose to do? 
What do I enjoy? 
Where is my heart? 
What do I want to be when I grow up? 
I HAVE NO CLUE AT THIS POINT!!!!!  Can really make one feel VERY OVERWHELMED!!!!  That is exactly where I am. OVERWHELMED!!!!!  It can all be very overwhelming and yet I do have a sense of peace about it.  I know that probably makes absolutely NO sense but I do.  Yes, I still have my moments of "what just happened" but for the most part, doing well and it's all about HIM!!!!!!!  I'm taking the time to get somethings done that I have NEVER had time to and just preparing for whatever He has planned.  I can't wait to see!!!!!!!!
Thanks for stopping by!!

Doula Mama Pam

1 comment:

naqahdahnellie said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your job (yeah, a little behind I am...sorry!). I can't imagine the rush of emotions that brings you. I do remember when I was first unemployed when I moved to WA state with my husband for his Air Force relocation. I had been working through college, and 2 jobs the entire year after college. I had become accustomed to providing for myself, paying my own bills, and always working even harder if I didn't feel like there was enough in my account.

Then we moved and I found myself feeling helpless. It took me about 4 months to find a job, so it was a hard transition for me to feel completely dependent on someone, and not just my parents, but my husband. That was still a foreign concept to me as we hadn't been married long at that point.

I remember the days of wandering the house cleaning everything, pre-chopping and fixing meals, and trying to have the house completely perfect when he got home, some form of guilt on my part.

It is a difficult feeling, but I know you will make it through. You will find your groove, and you might even miss it when you go back to consistent work again! Just find some stuff to keep yourself busy, and don't worry too much about taking small indulgences here and there. You will figure out what you want to do, and where you want to go. Just give it some time.