Monday, January 30, 2012

Desperate Dependence.....He Did It!!!!!!!

Ok, just hang on to this one. My words this year are Desperate Dependence on the Lord. So, before Christmas our microwave died. I mean ugly noises and still frozen food coming out of it. Took it out and got rid of it. Every weekend we would say, let's go get one. Well, every weekend a million things would come up. So I have learned to reheat on the stove. Yes, our parents and Grandparents did it before they invented microwaves.

Well, last week, I was ready to roast veggies. I was so excited!!!!! I could taste they already. I opened the oven and the heating element in the bottom was sparking and screaming red. Scared me to death!!!!! Turned it off and it was still going and getting worse. Hubby had to pull out the oven and unplug it before it would stop. I was terrified!!!!! Thank the Lord I was home!! Well, now we dont have a way to what?????

We are wanting to get our condo ready for the market. We didn't want to go and buy my dream stove and microwave and then move. I was just praying and praying, Lord, what do you want us to do? How to we handle this? What do you wants to do?

I posted on my Facebook page about the stove. I get a message almost as quick as I posted. A great friend named Vera told me to call. So I did. She has a stove sitting in her garage and is tired of moving it around. Praise the Lord!!!! What do you want for it? NOTHING!!!!! I almost dropped the phone. Just get it out of my garage! Ok, we will be there Sunday. So very excited!!!!!! We get there. Get it loaded and I make the comment about getting a microwave.....well, He does it again..... She has a microwave sitting in the corner!!!!!! Oh my goodness!!!!! I am completely overwhelmed!!!!! Refusing to take any money we were talking about a precious new grand baby they are in return for this fabulous gift, I will be there as Britt's Doula!!!!!!(if she wants me there) What a treat!!!! What a blessing!!!! Desperate dependence is hard to learn but when He shows up like this. I wonder why I make it so difficult!!!!!!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Quick Note

A new chicken lasagna recipe is coming on the other blog this morning.....don't miss it!!!!!! When I get an oven I am going to prepare it...yummy!!!!!!
I got the sweetest email from a friend today that follows me on Facebook and just made my day. She has given me permission to share so be on the look out for that.

How are you doing?
How is your Word for 2012 changing you, challenging you, pushing you in a new direction? There are not enough pages on this blog for me to tell you all of mine. I am going to work on trying though. It's exciting and challenging to.

Clothes are fitting different. Running is so much "therapy" for me. I use that term loosely. I'm enjoying getting ready for my next goal.

Well,,,,time to get back to work..what have you been pondering lately??????


Tuesday, January 24, 2012


Things are going well. I am learning to live again so to speak without the stress of going to school and trying to figure out how to manage all of it. Thank You Jesus!!!!!!!
He has blessed me with a clear head enough to figure out a running/exercise schedule that seems to working like a charm. Yes, I can work 3rd shift and still go to the gym.....who knew??????
The itch to make a quilt has returned thanks to Pinterest. I have seen so many but the key for me is going to be SIMPLE!!!!!! It has been over 5 years since I have done it so we have to start slow. There is something about creating something that you can use that just tickles me to death. So.......anyone with an idea....bring it on.

Lastly, I have a great friend that I havent seen in a while and she is requesting prayer. No names or details but if you would just pray for her. She is really struggling. The Lord knows the details and He is the only one that can make a difference. Thank you in advance.

Looking forward to hearing from you!!!!!!!


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Load is Lifted!!!!

Well, if you follow me on FB you know that I had registered for classes at GTCC. Pam had decided to do this. Pam took it upon herself to register and add more to her plate. Pam was going to prove to others that she can handle anything.
I am sure if you read that you know exactly where this is going. My sweet Hubby and wonderful parents allowed me to sort through what was going on. I finally reached my point. I disenrolled and returned my books today. I feel like a new woman. I had been praying so hard to figure out how in the world to find balance. He was letting me see that this was not HIS plan. This had become PAMs plan. Let me just say that my plan is typically wrong. He is such an awesome Heavenly Father.
All of this being said, I am learning to be content in what and where I am. I have a beautiful, healthy family and a great job. I have finally figured out a schedule. A sleeping plan and even an exercise schedule. A goal in sight of another half marathon in October. I feel like a new woman. A weight has been lifted.
My desperate dependence on my Lord taught me, I need more desperate dependence. How about you? Are you going after your plans or His?????

Something to ponder......

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


For sure my 2 words are all I have thought about today. I went yesterday to get my books for school. Drove around for an hour and finally got a parking place. Got in and the line was 3 stories and then snaked around for several loops. It was cold and raining and I was exhausted.

Came home and logged on to Hubby's computer and just had to swallow hard when I saw all the stuff I have to do. Totally overwhelmed!!!!!! I almost go into panic mode when I think about what I have signed up for. It's going to truly be a desperate dependence on my Lord. There would be no other way for me to get through this. The classes are pretty straight forward. They don't seem that difficult. Just that failure is not an option.

Once again, year after year He does this....perfect words.....perfect year!!!!!!



Thursday, January 5, 2012

How's it going?????

Well, I am finding it absolutely amazing theat He has done it again another year. I realize it is only the 5th but I can tell you I see His finger prints everywhere. Just amazing!!!!

Being desperately dependent can be difficult. I know we have all heard the saying about, you can't depend on people because they will let you down. Yes they will. Yes they do. But guess what? He will never forsake you. He will never leave you. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. That is something you can be totally desperately dependent on Him. Making a bit more sense to you? It is the making of a very strong person. It so works!!!!!!

Have you seen His finger prints? Are you looking for them?? Something to ponder.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

2 words for 2012

Well, you may have thought I lost my mind when I wrote my 2 words. People don't like words like desperate or dependence and much less put them together like desperate dependence. So let me try to explain a little bit. This may or may not make a lot of sense to you and its kind of hard to wrap your head around. So let's get started.

First is desperate. What a word!!!!! Have you ever been desperate for something? I mean feeling like you would die if you didn't get it or experience it. For example....of course I have to use running for help on this explanation....running a half marathon and thinking you will die and you are desperate for the next cup of water, the next port-a-potty, or just encouragement from a family member/friend or even a stranger. You just need it. You will fall apart without it. Therefore the question came that ask me if I was desperate for Him? What a question. What and why are you asking me this ? Pam, are you desperate for Me? I cried and I cried. I am desperate. So very desperate and so glad that He is what I am desperate for! So the question for you.....what are you desperate for? Is it something tangible? Something that seems unattainble? Being desperate for the Lord will fill those things that you think you are desperate for.

Second is dependence. We as Americans like to be independent. Independence is something we teach our children. We get so excited when our children are independent enough to entertain themselves, go to the bathroom by themselves, get ready to go to the store by themselves. We don't like to be dependent on anyone for anything. I learned a very hard lesson about being independent when I was separated/divorced. Oil changed-I did it. Patch a hole in the wall- I did it. Repairs had become my new show of independence. I was feeling pretty good. Getting remarried was a bit more difficult. I now had someone that wanted to do these things for me. Some of that independent would get in the way of allowing Bo to do what he wanted to do. So here is the question....are you dependent on the Lord? I mean are you only dependent on the Lord when things are good? Are you dependent on Him only when things are not going so well? Dependence on HIM is what I need to do. Yes, I can be independent in certain areas but being careful to realize He is my source.

So now let's put them together. Desperate Dependence. 2 very separate words but together are so very powerful. My deepest desire is to be desperately dependent on Him for EVERYTHING!!!!! He has so much for me to learn. I'm excited. I hope you are. I hope this made sense to you. I know full well I am not perfect. I hope you will join me on this journey.

Thanks for stopping by and hope I left you with someone to ponder today.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Well....Day 1.....

Well I am coming to you from my new iPad. Thanks to my son Kyle. I just love it!! I am having to get used to working on a touch screen but just love it so far. Of course Kaleb loves all the new games but doesn't realize he is learning in the process. That works for me for sure.

Did you pick out a word for the New Year? I am always amazed at how He works all of that out. It's going to be a great year and learning desperate dependance on my Jesus is going to make it that much better.

I have in my head some goals for the new year and a few will be aware of those but to make a list and post it is not what I am going to do this year. I do that every year and every year, I have to eat my words. Most of mine are personal so that way I will be responsible to me and my Jesus. Make sense? Don't think I don't have some of the same that you have as better, save money, exercise more and all the other things.

I hope you will join me on this adventure this year. It's going to be great. Working on 2 post about my 2 words for 2012. It has nothing to do weakness either. Have a wonderful day and thank you so much for stopping by.
Be sure to share your "word" below


Sunday, January 1, 2012

Word for 2012!!!!!!

Well HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!  Can you believe it is actually 2012?  I guess the other question would be are we saying it is "Two Thousand Twelve" or are we saying it's "Twenty Twelve"?  Not that it really matters one way or the other. 
So, it's time to talk about your Word for 2012.  Have you picked out one?  Were you lead to one and are wondering "What in the world?"  Amazing how that happens.  The Lord always seems to work it out just amazingly that those "words for ______" always just seem to be exactly what we need, maybe not what we want. 
Last year for 2011, my word was choice/choose.  I thought it was pretty straight forward until April 29th and my world was rocked by being laid-off from work.  I had a choice in how to react and what was I going to do.  Return to school was the plan.  Everything ready to go and THEN.....rocked again.....Offered a job with Cone Health that I couldn't turn down because of being on unemployment and it was an offer I never thought I would be offered.  School went on the back burner again and returning to the working world on THIRD SHIFT!!!  I was making choices left and right and just spinning.  Then my Mom calls and I find out she has been diagnosed with breast cancer for the 2nd time.  Her surgery is scheduled on my birthday and my first day of work.  I was once again making more choices.  Choices in attitude, emotions, reactions, and actions.  Choices again now with what to do with "Mothering The Mothering".  I made a very difficult decision to lay down my Childbirth Education/Doula Business.  I have one client for this spring/summer coming.  I have been just at a loss without all of my pregnant mom's and new dad's.  I'm learning to make my choice and some days it is VERY hard!!!!!!  I'm amazed at how the "word" keeps coming at me. 
This year is a little different.  I actually have 2 words.  They go together well and I am almost afraid to even write them down.  My word(s) for this 2012 year is (are) "Desperate Dependence".  I am very excited and a little nervous to but this is going to be a great year!!!!!!  What is your word?  Please share????
Something to ponder!!!!