Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Being Transparent

Well, it was "Fat Tuesday". The beginning of "Lint" for some. For others it is just the start of preparing for the coming Easter Season. I have read on Facebook of all the different things that people are giving up.  Some are giving up chocolate. Some are giving up Facebook. Some are giving up coffee and other coffee drinks. Some I heard on the radio are giving the money that they spend on other drinks like coffee, soft drinks, juices etc. and giving it to an organization.  Lots of impressive things.  Some are trying to change something they know they need to change like gossip or cussing. I was just pondering this and thinking through exactly how this will apply to me.  Is this something that I need to do?  They say that it takes 30 days to make a "habit" and maybe that is what some are thinking and hoping. I guess you could go so far as to say that it is also another opportunity to try again at that New Years Resolution that didn't happen. 
Anyway, all of that to say, I have been thinking.  I knew I needed to write this post for about a week and just needed to figure out how to put it into words. Being convicted of something, realizing what you are being convicted of and then know that He asks you to take it a step farther can make it very difficult to put things down in words.  At the same time, not doing it or continuing delay is disobedience.  My post on here have not been what they should be.  Not that they are bad or anything like that.  They are just not what they should have been.  I have literally had a time of just quiet.  This is not a bad thing but since it has continued for such a length of time, now being convicted, it is not Him that moved, it was Pam.  Back about 6 months or more, I was to teach a Bible Study. For whatever reason, that fell apart at the last minute.  I was devastated.  Then another opportunity arose and I was so excited about it that I was going to bust and before it even started it was gone because of my work schedule. That was just one of those things that I let get the best of me and it never should have.  Starting on 3rd shift has it's been a challenge.  It was very hard in the beginning but I am happy to say that I have now figured out my "schedule" as far as home life/exercise/work/extras.  I want so badly to return to Bible Study.  At this time, I don't see how it would work unless it was on a Sunday.  Even Saturdays are difficult because we as a family have so very much to do.  They actually started one this Tuesday.  I signed up for it. Paid for a book and praying that just having the book will give me the gumption to do the questions and read, even if I can't get to the class and see the DVD, I will at least be able to do the book. This have been a hard time. It almost felt as though I was drowning.  I had allowed my circumstances to dictate what I did, how I did it and what my response was.  It has been a very hard road but I am excited to see where the journey is going.  I have found out what I missing. I figured out where my priorities had been mislead.
Now that you know probably way more than you wanted to know, lets get back to the point.  So, here is my goal. For the next 40 days as we prepare for this time of the year known as Easter, my goal is focus on the days leading up to the crucifixion, the crucifixion, the 3 days and then the Resurrection.  Reading through the Gospels. Reading and really studying what all happened. We are studying John in Sunday School and it is just so rich.  I'm excited. It will be a challenge. It will be exciting. It will even be difficult. It's time to get in the Word. It's time to do what He wants me to do and for Pam to move. Pam to get her circumstances behind her. Pam to get close to her Lord once again. 
Can you relate? Have you moved? Have you changed? Does He seem quiet? 
For sure something to ponder today!!!!!

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