Thursday, May 6, 2010

Think About It Thursday

Thinking today. Sept 25th is a day. It's our daughters birthday. You can go back here and read to get caught up a bit. Yes, I realize that today is NOT September 25th. Our daughter is now 18. We "had" her for 10 years. It was 10 very difficult and trying years and years I never saw coming.
For whatever reason, she has been on my mind a lot lately. We haven't heard anything from her. Yet at the same time, the last time we were in court she was told that she could have no contact with us. She is doing what they said. I realize that BUT as a mother, my brain and my heart just go there.
Where is she?
Does she have a roof over her head?
Is she in school?
Is she in jail?
Does she have clothes?
Who are her friends?
Does she have food to eat?
Is she taking her meds?
Does she know that we care?
Will she ever understand?

It's just hard somedays. Somedays when I see other teens or young ladies about her age, I can't help but think of her. My heart just hurts.
YET, I know that I know that I know that we did ALL that we could.
We went to EVERY meeting.
We have prayed.
We went to EVERY therapy.
We made sure she had EVERYTHING she needed and then some.
We have prayed.
We walked the road of mental illness.
We went to court.
We have prayed
We have had so many social workers that it would make your head spin.
We have had therapist and psychologist and psychiatrist.
We have prayed
We have been through hospitalizations.
We have rec'd and declined collect calls.
We have made the hard decisions at times that NO parent should ever have to make.
We have done all that we can physcially, emotionally and spiritually do.

The Lord is seeing after her now. I know that I can not "fix her". I know that we can not "fix her". I don't know if she ever even has access to a computer or she even knows that we think of her.
Someday, maybe she will understand.
Thank you for stopping by and reading. Please just continue to pray for her and for me and our family.

Praying,
Doula Mama Pam
1 Sam 12:23

1 comment:

Kim said...

Hi, I'm new to your blog and catching up on your story. I found you through Stacy's blog ("He will carry me"). I'll be praying for you every time I think about you.