I Thought I Was Going To Die!!!!

Well, I really did!!!!!!  This weekend was the weekend I was to be in Myrtle Beach running the Bi-Lo Half Marathon with my friend Ashley.  Several weeks ago, I had posted about finally biting the bullet and admitting to myself that I was not ready and I was not going to be able. Ashley and I had talked and talked and talked and finally chose to go and run this weekend.  It was suppose to be a beautiful morning and I was so excited.  We went to our usual stomping ground and just thought "we will just do what is comfortable and just play it by how we feel"  No big deal right???????
WRONG!!!!!
Thank goodness we did not see a lot of people.  Everyone must have been at Myrtle Beach.  We walked and then we decided to start running.  That was the longest 2 1/2 minutes of my life. 
I couldn't breathe. 
I couldn't talk.
I thought I was going to die!!!!!!!
Then I realized that Ashley was right there with me.  Neither one of us had run in months. 
WE WERE DYING!!!! 
We laughed!!!
We fussed!!!!
We swore we would never wait this long again!!!!!! 
IT WAS AWFUL!!!!!! 
Where is the Motrin.....I'm talking 800mg please!!!!!
We managed to arrange it so that if we saw people coming we would just smile and not breathe. Once they got past us we would want to collapse. 
I am the optimist...(We were headed to the last part) "I can see the cars"
Ashley the pessimist..."They are still a long ways off"
We had so much fun but knew we would pay a price later that afternoon and the weekend. 
Well, I am pleased to say that I can still walk. I have little twinges every now and then but all in all I don't feel bad.  Our time was THE PITS!!!!!!  I would never post it and would never tell a soul.  We are back in it and we will NOT do that again!!!!!!!! 
We are looking to set a goal.  I have one for September but we are looking for a local something like a 5K or 10K during the summer which could be tricky.  To "be back in it" feels AWESOME!!!!!  I just want to get back to where we were when we would hit the lake and just run until we thought we better get home to the hubby and the kids.  That day WILL come!!!!!!!!
Well, it's back to work for now.  It was a great weekend!!!!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

Friends

Friends by definition in Websters is

1a : one attached to another by affection or esteem
b : acquaintance
2a : one that is not hostile
b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4: a favored companion

So my question is how many do you have? This has come up several times in passing conversations. I was just thinking about it and was curious what Websters had to say. The definition for me was interesting. Most of the time we usually think of friends as those that we know. We may know different things about them.
We may know
Where they work
Who their spouse is
Do they have children
Where do they go to church
Are they on Facebook
Do they have a blog
Where they live
Those types of things.
Then there are those that we may know a little more
Their favorite color
Their favorite food
When is their birthday
Where do they go on vacation
What sports teams do they like
What sports do they play or their children play
Then there are those that we know even more
We know their parents
We know what ministry their are in
We know about their walk with the Lord
We know about their passion for the Lord
We know what has hurt them in the past and even current
We know what battles they have overcome and which one's they are still fighting
We can sense where they are when they walk in the room.

So keeping all of that in mind, how many do you have that fall into each category? This was a real eye opener for me. I realized that the further down I got, the smaller the numbers. Does that mean that I don't care about those at the top of the list? NOT A CHANCE! I do care!!!!!! I also know that there are those few at the bottom that have stuck with me through so much and know me so well that those are the ones that I run to when I am struggling. Relationships take a lot of time, work, effort, and energy. I have heard and been told that I don't really have a lot of friends. True. I may not have a lot at the bottom of the list but those that are there are precious. I value them greatly!!!!!! How many friends do you have in these categories? Do you ever hear that you need more friends? Take heart, if you know Jesus, He is you BEST Friend and I know that my goal is to be called Friend by Him!!!!!!!

Just something to think on today!!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

It's SATURDAY!!!!!!

**Disclaimer- This was not my idea...I am borrowing it from Tara.  I did ask for permission**

I checked her blog because I noticed that she had made a post and we read each other's very faithfully.  I couldn't help but want to run with what she started.  She made a list of somethings that we already know and then there are somethings that we are realizing every day.

1. Reading Childbirth books/magazines and blogs all the time are not the highlight of my day like my precious time in the morning with my Bible, My Saviour and BSF questions

2.Kyle is not a little boy anymore but when he is sick, I want to do everything for him (probably drives him crazy).  He will always be my first.

3. Kaleb is growing up to fast and realizing that if he wants to read every book (including the Sesame Street Dictionary) in his "Book-Bag" then the dishes, the bathrooms and the laundry can wait.

4.Bo doesn't require a spotless house, even though it drives me crazy when it is messy.

5. Guilt over treating myself to a coffee or a treat needs to stop.

6.Being financially smart does not equal being a tight-wad.

7.I can not make everyone around me happy and please them at all times. My main goal is that my Lord is pleased with me.

8.It's OK to feel unequipped to do something that He ask of me because if He asked me to do it, He will equip me to do it.

9. It's amazing how time flies and to know that the Lord already knows each moment.

10. Above all, if the children grow up, I grow old, I don't get it all, that He is good and good all the time and I can know that by experience!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Tara!!!!!!!  Just a lot of thoughts.  Thank you for making me stop and think.

Doula Mama Pam

Wonderful Friday!!!!!

This is a wonderful day so far.  I have worked down my jellybeans at the office and may be able to leave a little early which I would LOVE to do!!!!!!  We will have to see.
 This has been one of those wonderfully, weird, fatigued, fun, feeling sick, exhausted, excited and long weeks. You know what I mean?

Great dinner with the hubby and Little Man on Valentines
Kyle still sick
Homeowners Association meeting on Tuesday evening
Hubby now on the Board of the HOA
Wednesday was a tough day with busy and payment plans for patients
Thursday was running and doing and watching jellybeans pile in
Kyle still sick
Rec'd news at work of the loss of a coworker
Kaleb coughing part of the night- not much sleep
FRIDAY!!!!!!!
Kyle has a touch of bronchitis---Antibiotics and nasal spray on board (YEAH!!!!)
Jellybeans are cleared
Payment plans for everyone are complete
Kaleb, I am sure,is having a great day at school...after all it is "Show and Share" day.
Medicine tonight for the Little Man
Kyle goes to work
Bo goes bowling
Kaleb and Mommy night.
Tomorrow other than hitting the trail to run........(I am sure it will be short but I am so excited I could bust)
SATURDAY WE HAVE NO PLANS!!!!!!!!  For the first time in months.....
WE HAVE NO PLANS!!!!!!!Part of me just wants to come home from the trail, work and read through my BSF stuff.  Work on Childbirth Classes and maybe clean up a bit.  I have no desire to go ANYWHERE!!!!!!!! 
Busy-ness is getting to me!!!!!!!!
What's on your agenda for the weekend?
Hope you have a wonderful one!!!!!! 
Weather is suppose to be wonderful here!!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

Two Post In One Day!!!!! Oh My!!!!

I read over at one of my friends blog the other day that she was Refusing.  My first thought was Refusing What?
Then I read it.  OH SO WELL PUT!!!!!  She was having one of those days.  Days that you think....what else and why me.  Have you ever had one of those days?  I know I have them more often than I wish.  Of course here again is all about choice.  I guess you could take her post and rewrite it and call it CHOOSING.  That is so much easier than it sounds.  It always is.  I even had a moment this morning when I went to get my morning coffee at work and said Hello to someone.  I asked her how she was and she said "I'm here and how are you."  I was almost shocked at my response but I knew WHO it came from.  "I am choosing to have a good day today."  Of course she said that she wished she could do that.  I walked away thinking, that is all about a choice.  I am working today with my favorite MD, who should be a Midwife, and we get a long great and read each other so we know what the other needs before they ask.  We just click.  Therefore, I can watch my "jellybeans" change their numbers and go up and check in on them every so oftenn and just make the choice to know that they are not going anywhere and I am doing what I have been asked to do and that they understand that things will have to wait until I return to my desk.  I have chosen to just trust in the fact that I am where I am suppose to be and that is all that I can do at this present moment.  Yes, I know that was wordy but I hope that it made sense.  The Lord has me here for a reason and there are days that I wonder what in the world for and then there are days that I know, that I know that I know.
So today I am CHOOSING to have a great day. I am REFUSING to let anyone or anything come at me in any shape form or fashion that HE can not handle.  It is going to be a GREAT day!!!!!! 
If yours is not a GREAT day, what are CHOOSING and REFUSING about your day that you can change? 

Got to run for now.  Thanks for stopping by.

Doula Mama Pam

A Lot To Share in A Few Minutes.......

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentines Day.  We started celebrating Sunday evening with a great Marriage Dinner at church.  It was based off of the book "His Needs Her Needs".  AWESOME book.  Read it once before but reading it again to remind me.  Last night we ended up braving the crowds and went to Fatz Cafe.  We had NO WAIT!!!!!  It was great.  Food was great and Little Man behaved. It was just perfect.

Kyle has had a bug.  It acts like the flu but it is not the flu. All of the yucky symptoms that I won't go into.  He is pitiful when he is sick.  I find myself wanting to stay home with him and have to remind myself that he is 22.  Anyway, checked on him a few minutes ago and NO FEVER this morning!!!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!!!  gave him his medicine and leaving for work shortly. 

So, I have taught 2 of the 3 childbirth classes.  Let's just say, I am having a ball!!!!!!!  I am not teaching with the practice that I work for so there is freedom in teaching.  That means we can talk about things like Birth Wish List, we can talk doing labor naturally, the choices and options that are there.  You would not believe the options that are available with childbirth.  I have a great group of 5 couples and just love it!!!!!!  I hope they are enjoying it as much as I am.  I spoke with Linda yesterday and we are going to plan another round of classes for March and April.  So very excited for that.  I can't wait. Of course that makes the calendar busy but there seems to be a difference when you are REALLY enjoying what you are doing. 

I am off to work this morning to work with my favorite "Midwife" (MD) today.  It will be a good day for sure. Very excited!!!!!!!!  Weather is cooperating and the running shoes are coming out soon.  Race in Sept. that I REALLY want to do!!!!!!!  I just have to get ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by!!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

Nothing Really Connected Post

I just finished writing on the church's women's ministry blog.  That was fun!  Trying to get more people involved and get input.  Not sure why that seems so hard sometimes but it just seems that it is.

Read at least 2-3 other women's blogs about misc. things and the one thing that keeps coming up is books.  I have to confess, it has been a long time since I read a book.  I LOVE TO READ but here lately, everything that I read is very "birthy".  Not a lot of reading for the enjoyment so to speak.  Don't get me wrong, I read those things beause I do enjoy them and love to talk about them but to read a "non-birthy" something, well, lets just say that it has been a while. Really feeling the need to read here lately.  Maybe I should get a Kindle and then I wouldn't have to carry around all of the books.  My Mom got one for Christmas.  Maybe I need to make an investment....hahahaha

Well, we went to the circus last night.  Yes, Kaleb's first ever trip to the circus.  We went with Tara, Troy, Ethan, Caden and Sophie.  It was a grand time.  I had no idea it would be as long as it was but it was so worth it.  We got there early to visit all of the animals. Then we found out seats and when the show started, I am not sure that Kaleb breathed for the first 20 minutes.  We got home about 10:45pm and we were exhausted.  We had so much fun.  I am still amazed at the cost of the toys, food and souviners that they had.  IT WAS RIDICULOUS!!!!! and people were buying it like there was no tomorrow. I mean $15 for a snow-cone?????  I gave in at intermission and bought binochulars for the 4 kids and hat for Bo (it didn't fit.....I tried!!!!!).  It is something we will for sure go back again next year. The lighting was difficult for pictures.  When I took them with my little camera the screen kept popping up black so I changed to using my phone. Now I have to get them off the phone.

Kaleb had proclaimed that he was bringing home an elephant. Of course, this has been the topic of many conversations about where to keep it, what to feed it, and how to get it home. Of course he had an answer everytime we talked about it.  After seeing exactly how big they were last night, he decided he was not going to bring one home.  WHAT A RELIEF!!!!!!!!  He decided that he wanted a horse instead.....oh dear!!!!!!! 

I know I talk about BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) a lot on here.  I know there are a lot of you that take BSF. My question is, have you ever done Disciplers Bible Study?  I remember doing them at Cornerstone years ago.  It is written and done just like BSF and I think that is why I like them so much.  I'm praying about one for the summer.  Location is my first thought and where to do it. My other thought is which one to do. Not to mention all of the other details with doing a bible study. Just praying about it.....I'll keep you posted and if you have any thoughts, ideas or comments, I would love to hear them!!!!!!!!

Thanks for stopping by!!!!!!  Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doula Mama Pam

Well....what a weekend

I shared with you about Group Prenatal Care getting off the ground. Now I get to share about my first experience with teaching "Natural Childbirth Class" at the awesome place of Peaceful Beginnings.
Powerful and just WOW was all I could say.
So, if you read my last post about the first day of Group Prenatal Care, I talked about being calm, cool and collected and then BAM!!!!!!  Panic mode and the thoughts of....
"Who do you think you are?"
"What do you have to teach?"
"What if they ask me questions I don't have the answers to?"
All of those panic, worry and fear thoughts flooded me on Friday.  I needed this and that and the other from the store and every time I thought about what I needed, the cost factor came into play.  I am such a tight-wad when it comes to money.  It's almost ridiculous.(No, I take that back....it is ridiculous)
These were my thoughts......
I need...... (I was considering going to Target)
7 3-Ring Binders (at least $2 each)
Poster board ($1)
Bag of balloons ($3)
Package of ping-pong balls ($5)
Name Tags ($2)
Package of Manila file folders ($3)
I was basically trying to figure out a way to try and look professional without breaking the bank.  I had worked myself into a tizzy trying to figure it out.  It was raining, cold, wind was blowing and late and I needed this stuff yesterday.  I went out to get it. Frustrated by the cost and then realized as I pulled up to the red-light, "Pray Pam!!!!!"  DUH!!!!!!!!  I confessed my frustration, my worry, my panic and wanted so much to enjoy this whole experience. I didn't want to spend $30 on this.  I just confessed it all and at that moment it was as if someone else was driving my car.  I went to Dollar Tree.  My first reaction was...."They never have the same thing twice but I will go and trust that they have what I need."  He brought me here.
I walked in with Little Man in tow. He stayed with me and didn't run everywhere (which is NOT normal).  They had NICE 3 ring binders, poster board for 50 cents, file folders, they even had the balloons AND PING PONG BALLS!!!!!  I was overwhelmed to the point of tears when I returned to the car. I forgot the name tags but at that point I was so excited I couldn't stand myself.  I just praised Him all the way home!!!!!!!!!!!
I went in Saturday morning and had the typical butterflies but NOTHING like before. My class was AWESOME!!!!!!!  It was exactly what I had hoped for.
They talked. T
hey discussed.
We did a relaxation exercise.
It was AWESOME!!!!!!  I had the most fun!!!!!!!! Linda (the owner of Peaceful Beginnings) came in and checked on some things and we just had a wonderful experience.  I so enjoyed it.  I could teach what I know and what I have seen and experienced in my other deliveries that I have been apart of. 
IT WAS PERFECT!!!!!
That is how it all went.  I enjoyed it so much and so looking forward to this coming Saturday when we get to do it all over again!!!!!!!!!  Thank you so much for stopping by today and thank you for your prayers. 

Doula Mama Pam

Well, It is official......

Group Prenatal Care is Off the Ground at Eagle Ob/Gyn.  There are no words to tell you how excited, nervous, nauseated, sweating, tearful and prayerful that it has been getting this up and going. So very much to do and so much to read and edit and do this and that and copy this and that and go here and go there and WHEW!!!!  It went off this morning without a hitch.
Let me first say, there was a huge hitch and then another hitch this week coming up to it.
I realized that we didn't and wouldn't have the brochures here before we got started.
I realized that a physician had not read over the book.
I realized the table of contents would be all wrong because we had to delete somethings and add some things.
I realized that I was in panic mode.
I realized that I didn't have a notebook/folder or anything to put the above mentioned book in.
I was a basket case this week.
I had been calm, cool and collected and then all of the sudden PANIC. I don't mean a little, I mean HUGE GIGANTIC PANIC!!!!!!  I am talking heart racing, tears running and shaking.  It was not a pretty picture if you had seen me last night standing in the kitchen.
I have an awesome prayer warrior that I received an e-prayer from this morning.  I was absolutely amazed.  His timing is perfect. I drove into work this morning. I sat in the car for a minute and that fear just flooded me again. I grabbed my phone and read that prayer again. I gained composure and set off to get this thing started.
My first official Group was made up of ONE (1) (Uno). I sat and taught and talked and just had a great time. I think she did to. I then ask the question I always do..."Do you have any questions or concerns before we end our time?" She looked at me and fell apart. She had lost a friend this week and was grieving and scared the stress would be a problem in her pregnancy. We talked, she cried, I encouraged, she cried. It was pure Holy Presence in that room.
Of course there were CHOICES to be made this past week......
If we had more Mom's, would she have said anything? Probably Not
If I had chosen to cancel because I only had one? I would have missed the blessing
If I had cut it short and not stayed as long would she have shared? Probably Not.
It's all about choice and how you choose to look at it.  He knew she was to be here. I knew He had planned today. I am overwhelmed once again at the Lord that I serve.  He is JUST AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and your prayers.  I am blessed right out of my socks!!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

Ok, I just have to share this.....

OK, I said in my last post that I had more about THAT WORD.  Well let's just say that I serve
THE ONE TRUE GOD
THE PERSONAL GOD
THE ONE WHO CAN HEAR ME
THE ONE WHO CAN TOUCH ME
THE ONE WHO LOVES ME NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!! 
I pray that you are serving the same one.  I once again was at BSF on Monday night.  We had Fellowship. I LOVE FELLOWSHIP!!!!!! Part of the group was there and we were just chatting like women do and then my awesome discussion leader asked us how we had seen the Lord work.  DEAD SILENCE!!!  Of course I can't stand silence so I spoke up.  The Lord would not let me sit there and be quiet.  I talked about my word(s) for the year(choose/choice).  It was so awesome to get to share.  From hearing someone talk about it years ago to actually doing it and then getting the same word 2 years in a row and the experience and lessons being so very different.  It was just wonderful to share with the group of believing sisters in the group.  I was able to share a little about how He had used these words and how they just keep coming up. 
Even today as I scanned Facebook before I started writing, I saw a post by Cindy that talked about her "Choice" the other day about fear.  I am just amazed and watching what He is doing and learning from others "choices" and what they "choose".  It is so very exciting. 
I of course was in BSF Lecture time and listening to our wonderful Teaching Leader teach about the verses that we had read over and talked about and worked on through out the week.  It was absolutely INCREDIBLE.  Once again sitting there with a smile plastered on my face.  I was overwhelmed with His presence and the fact that at the moment even though there was a total stranger sitting next to me on one side and no one physically next to me, His presence was so thick I could have reached out and touched Him!!!!  It was AWESOME!!!!!!  I just wanted to share with you a few questions that she posed to us last night. Questions that I don't think she even knows what my "word" is but He does and I believe when she prepares her lecture that He writes them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So here are the questions and thoughts that she posed.  I wish I had enough time to sit and go through each one and share on here what my answer would be.  Why don't you pick one and answer it in the comment section.  You don't have to put your name. Answer it anonymously.  I would love to hear it!!!!!!!!!

-When was the last time that I chose to start my prayer time as a child does....
Thank you God for sharing _________________ with me.
-Discussed "How big is your God?" We have a choice- we can put boundaries on Him and only allow Him to work in a small box or we can choose to allow Him to be the incomprehensible God that He is and give us what He wants to give us.
-Will you choose to trust Him? Strengthen you? Especially in the areas you are struggling with?
-What skill, talent, prestige has He given you? Are you choosing to share it in a way that is bringing Him the worship He is due?
-Do you choose to be content hidden in the Lord thru Christ?
-We choose to trust.......
job
husbands/wives
body
home
ambition
money
-We need to choose to change our focus and trust to God first and then the others have a different place of importance.
WOW!
WOW!
WOW!
WOW!!!
There is so much more but let me tell you, I walked out a changed person and focus is different and just thoughts are different. 
Even after such a powerful experience, Tuesday morning was hit with an awkward situation and it was not a pretty picture. After I had a moment of pity party and anger at the situation out of reaction (I was in my car during this) I just sat and begged the Lord to forgive me and I made the choice to see it through the Lord and not myself and move on with my day. That doesn't mean I like the situation. At the same time, He is in control and I will choose to give it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh What Freedom!!!!!!!
Sorry so long but it was just so very rich. I had to share!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam

Just A Couple of Things......

I start teaching this week.  I am so very excited and a nervous wreck all together.  Enough to make your stomach be in knots and your heart race.  We start Group Prenatal Class here in the office this week.  We will be doing it on Thursdays.  2 Sessions. 9am and 2pm.  It's going to be great once it gets off the ground. It has taken a lot of work and reading and evaluating and getting things ready but I know that the Lord put it together and that is all that matters.
Next, I start teaching this Saturday at Peaceful Beginnings ,here in Greensboro, Natural Childbirth Education.  Basically childbirth education from the totally natural aspect. It is going to be great.  I have 5 couples in my class so we keep it small and one on one.  It is just perfect.  A great way to get my feet wet.  LOVE IT!!!!!!!  I have it all in my head and most on paper and now I just have to make sure that I am not fumbling when I get there on Saturday morning. 
We are back in session at BSF which is a blessing within itself and it just overwhelms me at times about how He works.  I have a post about THAT WORD for the year.  You can check back about that later.  It will be full but so worth reading!!!!!!!! And by the way, in one of my post about THAT WORD I talked about my friend Sue who had by-pass surgery about 4 weeks ago....well, she posted on Facebook that "Ms. Daisy don't need to be drivin' anymore!"  Thank you Lord for healing!!!!!!  She is doing GREAT!!!!!  I keep waiting for her to call me to ask me for Tofu ideas but she hasn't yet.....hahahaha!!!!!  Just glad she is doing better and feeling like a new woman!!!!!!! 

I hope your day is great.  Are you planning a Super Bowl party?  Are you preparing your favorite foods?  I will share my favorites over on Doula Mama In The Kitchen so you will have to check those out!!!!!!  Some are actually not bad for you!!!!!!!  LOVE IT!!!!!!! 

Chat with you again soon.
Doula Mama Pam