WHERE TO START!!!!!

Well, it is Sunday afternoon and the boys are busy. Well, let's say the youngest and the oldest are sleeping the middle one is picking up Alex at the beach.  It's quiet and I got some reading done and took a couple of practice test.  It has been a rough couple of weeks for me.  Knowing that I was returning to school IS exciting.  Now that I know what I am going for is even MORE exciting. The waiting part was killing me.  The "What If" questions kept coming back.  Yet, every time I would think...."Just give it up and go back to work and resume the "normal" life", something would happen, some e-mail or phone call would come to remind me that is NOT what I was suppose to do. Well, to be honest, last night I had one of those moments.  The stress got me yesterday.  I was standing in our bedroom folding clothes and reasoning with myself. 
Kind of sounded like this.....
"I haven't signed up for classes yet. No money lost there. I could continue with teaching and being a Doula. It's not that big of a deal. I know in my heart that would be disobedience." Then the thoughts just stopped.  I walked to the computer and signed on to Facebook to see what everyone else was up to and get my mind off of what I was thinking.  Then I thought.......Let's just check the website for the college and see.  I had checked it on Friday and NOTHING was there.  I was just so discouraged.  So I logged in.  Prepared myself when I clicked on the button that said "Financial Aid Letter".  Every other time I pulled it, it would say...."No record".  That meant that they had not done it yet. BUT...................................................................................................................................................
This time was different.  There WAS A LETTER!!!!  There was $$$$$$$$$$$$ amounts listed.  I WAS STUNNED!!!  I was clapping and hollerin' (southern term).  I jumped up, walked in the living room and told my hubby the amount and said "No more worries" and came down the hall and picked up the phone and called my parents.  Of course crying like a child.  "School is paid for.  I got the Pell Grant. Fall and Spring are paid for!!!!!!" I just sat staring at the screen with the letter.  Hubby came and read it to.  I was NOT SEEING THINGS!!!!!  I even logged off and logged back in to make sure it was not an accident.  Every time I think about it, my eyes just well up with tears and I can't believe it.  Hubby must have been excited because he had it posted on Facebook before I could get off the phone. 
Just totally awesome.  Just totally blown away.  I serve a God that can move mountains.  This was another mountain He demolished right in front of me.  I am still amazed.  WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Doula Mama Pam- Nursing Student